Watch out dragons... Here be Aaron!

Aaron Gray and the Dragon War Is now available as a book and ebook.

Aaron is a brat, which is understandable after everything he's been through. He also sees dragons when he hums, which isn't understandable by anyone, ever. He soon gets sucked into the dragons' dangerous war, where his only defences are his embarrassingly magical fingernails, and a fierce, ten-year-old girl.

Available everywhere across the world! Check out goodreads / amazon uk / amazon us / barnes & noble / book depository or your favourite book or ebook retailer.

Monday, 24 April 2017

St George

Let me start by saying that I don't condone the killing of dragons in any way. But since I covered St David's Day I thought it only fair to tell the story of St George, the dragon killer.

The Saint George story dates back at least as long ago as the 13th century, where it was included in a book all about saints known as the Golden Legend. That story was all in Latin though, so it wasn't that easy to understand. Instead, here's my version.

A long long time ago, there lived a soldier called George. He was probably born in Turkey but nobody's quite sure, but one day he turned up in a village that had a dragon in it.

Nobody really liked this dragon. It flew around, destroying the countryside and eating what it could. The villagers realised they could stop it doing too much damage if they kept it fed, so they fed it two sheep every day. This was fine, except they soon ran out of sheep.

What do you do when you run out of sheep? Send up some pigs? Horses? Some other animals? Presumably the village was still eating something, so they could easily have sent something else to the dragon. But no, for some reason the village decided to send the dragon a human child to eat. Every day, a different child, chosen at random. They pretty much held a raffle, "And today's winner is eight-year0old Daniel from the farmer's cottage. Your prize is a one-way trip to somewhere hot. That's right, the dragon's mouth!"

Nobody knows how the dragon felt about the change in his diet, but it ate the kids anyway. I don't know what would have happened when they ran out of kids, maybe try cabbages? Or the elderly? Anyway one day it got really bad because the local princess won the raffle (Villages in those days all had a princess in them). The king decided enough was enough now that his own daughter was going to be eaten, and promised to marry her off to anyone who could kill the dragon. Luckily this was the same day that George came into town.

According to the story in the Golden legend, he didn't just ride up and kill the dragon. First, he asked the princess for the garter that was holding up one of her tights and stuck it around the dragon's neck. The dragon was so embarrassed about wearing the princess's underwear that it obediently followed George into the village.

By the time the dragon had got to the village it was getting a bit tetchy, and the villagers were a little bit scared that they were all about to get toasted. At this point George could have killed the dragon, but he held out a little bit longer.

"I could kill the dragon," he said, "Or I could set it free and let it have a village barbecue. If you want me to kill it then you all need to become Christians"

"But we thought religion was a personal choice," shouted the villagers.

"No it isn't, become Christians or I'll murder you at dragonpoint" said George.

"Oh alright then" said the villagers, and George killed the dragon. Then he was made a saint because of all the Christians he had made.


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